It’s long been known by shooting industry insiders that certain personal attributes give you a distinct tactical edge over your opponent. These items in combination can turn someone with even minimal skills into a full-fledged operator. At the top of the list are tactical beards and tactical tattoos, followed closely by a whole litany of tactical kit. As we explore these secrets in greater detail, please note this is for tactical operating only. Competitive shooters have a whole different list of crap to make them shoot better.
Take a look at some of the biggest and baddest in the tactical industry and you’ll start to notice some subtle differences about these uber-badass shooters. It’s not just that they can shoot the eyes out of an ISIS terrorist at 100 yards, one handed, while riding a Harley down a cobblestone street, that’s a given. It’s those secret personal pluses they bring to the game.
Starting with the most obvious, it’s the tactical beard. A full and glorious beard, the fuller the better is a key element for tactical operations. Note that mustaches only, unkempt stubble and those little strands that dangle delicately from the bottom of the chin provide no tactical advantages, even if it did take you a lifetime to grow it. On the other end of the spectrum, tactical beards do NOT flow to your beltline or resemble anyone in ZZ Top. If you hide your jug or store your lunch in it, it’s not a tactical beard.
Next in line are tattoos. Generally the more the better, but it’s got to be the right kind of ink to make you a better shooter. Teddy bears, unicorns and Disney characters are out. Weaponry, gun logos (except Hi-Point, that’ll just get you fragged) and anything Spartan are good. These tactical tattoos don’t have to be completely visible, but they have to show enough in public to be effective. Unless you only plan on fighting on a nude beach, keep the good stuff out of the crotch region. Face tattoos while very visible only help if you’re shooting gangsta style. Hey, I don’t make up the rules.
Then there’s the other stuff, most commonly know as “kit”. Having the right kit is critical for tactical superiority. Leather used to be in, but scientific research has proven it only beneficial to cowboy action shooters now. Kydex is good, but it will only get you so far. To reach the highest level, you’ve got to have heavy-duty nylon and molle gear, lots & lots of molle gear. And on that molle gear you’ve got to mount everything in your armory. Yea, that’s right, you have an armory and you carry it with you as your EDC.
So what if you can’t quite pull off the tactical trifecta of beard-tattoo-kit for some reason. Maybe you just can’t grow a beard, are allergic to ink or can’t afford the right kit. Is there any hope for you or are you just going to be a sucker waiting to get picked off drinking a Unicorn Frappuccino? Well good news! There’s one last chance to make you a better shooter.
GET YOUR ASS TO THE RANGE AND PRACTICE!!!
Seriously, did we have to go through all of that to get your attention? Facial hair, tattoos and accessories may get you extra tacti-cool points, but beyond that mean diddly-squat. Stop looking for shortcuts!! What you really need is practice, practice, and more damn practice.
Go shoot already!
Bob
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